Anti-Anti-Americanism

Introduction to European Studies: This is supposed to be the introduction to the ways and lives of modern Europeans. We are told that Europeans hate McDonald's and go so far as to tear one down with pitchforks and other miscellaneous farming equipment. We were told that Europeans define themselves by what they are not- which is that they are not American.

America is the land of opportunity. America is the place where Wal-Mart can start up and become a billion dollar company because Americans want convenience. We don't like standing in line, we don't like stores closing at 7pm, and we don't like paying too much for stuff.

America is the land where we laugh at the Simpsons because it is a gross exaggeration of everything possibly wrong with any family in any corner of our 10-billion square kilometer country. We're the country that's proud of our social and economic conquests in the last 100 years.

Europeans curse the United States as they drink their McCafe Latte in their internal-combustion-engine automobiles as they drive back to their 1950s apartment building built using American money.

Yet they continue to patronize movie Theaters that show American films, make dates to eat at Pizza Hut, and shop at their fake Wal-marts, which are Wal-mart in every way except the name.

So what's the gig? When will it no longer be a crime to be from the USA? When will I have to stop providing answers for our previous leader? When will I no longer have to say that I do not ride a horse and I do not have multiple guns and I do not go to public executions with a picnic basket?

Would you like me to ask you about your former leaders? Would you like me to ask if you wear Lederhosen in your free time and take up a pitch fork every third weekend to protest that you're not getting paid enough to sit on your butt and push a button?

Thought not. So go home and drink your coca-cola, watch CSI and think of questions that really matter.