Krank

So, I can't breathe. For some reason, my nose has decided to close up. My ears are stopped up, feels like they're going to pop. Sounds seem muffled. Normally, I'm not an advocate for the use of medicine in minor circumstances - the immune system is designed for that stuff. In the US, after one night of such misery, I would simply go to the store (perhaps even DURING the night) to acquire a box of Sudafed or a some pseudophedrine generic brand for $5. I would take one capsule, it would be good for six hours. It would allow me to sleep through the night until I can stand or sit up or whatever and allow my nose to do as it pleases. I could take a pseudophedrine-daytime to avoid the drowsiness that is usually associated with this miracle drug. I would be able to go about my day as normal, equipped with an emergency stash of tissues should my nose start to run. I would not disrupt the innocent bystanders with my loud and brash battle call in order to expel the ever-reproducing culprit from my sinuses. All would be well in the world until my immune system finally defeated the attacking army (or realized that it was merely a couple of lost pollen bits.)

I was only a fool to assume such simplicity here. I went to the Apothek (medicine beyond a vitamin supplement is not sold in stores) and politely explained my situation: I don't have a headache, I don't have a temperature; my nose is simply stopped up - could you please suggest something? First, the white-lab-coat clad worker suggested a wad of vitamin C tablets. Any fool would already know to ingest a rather large amount of citrus-based vitamins and minerals. I was already chock full of horse tablets - my skin probably reeks of lemons and oranges. I politely asked about pseudophedrine. The lady was shocked. It was as if I had asked for a kilo of weed or something. "Oh, you must go to the doctor to get that."

*Palm smacks forehead*

I asked if there was anything that she could give me that would actually perhaps fool my immune system into, you know, stopping the production of mucus and reducing the swelling in the sinus cavities. I even suggested an antihistimine - Benadryl would have been great. She instead told me that the strongest thing she could give me was this Eucalyptus-based pill. I read the box. 3-4 times daily with 200mL of Orange Juice, 30 minutes before a meal. What kind of hokey-pokey medicine is this? I looked at the ingredients: Myrtol, Eucalyptus and Lemon. Essentially they were giving me a big wax pill with some plant crap sprinkled in - and then charge me 8 Euros for it. I would have been just as well to smear some vicks on my upper lip and suck on a cough drop. And then she had the audacity to say "gute besserung." I'll good your betterment, quack.

Ugh. I asked a German if they were afraid of using drugs for whatever reasons - I find that Germans are a bit preoccupied with buying organic food and holistic medicine. (I don't have a problem with that, but there is a reason pharmaceuticals exist.) He said no. He has taken Pseudophedrine before - after all, we've all battled against sinus blockage, sinus infections and sinus headaches. Germans just like their Doctor (maybe a bit too much); if your stomach hurts, you go to the doctor. If you have a headache, you stay home from work and go to the doctor. I'm not even going to tell you my opinion directly: you probably ate something that didn't sit well - it'll pass; drink some water for your headache and if it's really bad, take a Tylenol - it'll pass.

But if you can't breathe, certain things should be made available outside of the 10-3 opening hours and two-day-in-advance appointment of your local family practitioner.

Say yes to over-the-counter; say no to drugs. Now I sit with my menthol cough drops, package of tissues with menthol lotion, small can of Carmex for the chapped nose, and my vitamin-C tablets.